FIGHT OFF YOUR DEMONS

I wish it were cold already, and that the leaves were changing and that the air was so chilly that you could see it every time you exhale.

I wish that rain would fall from the skies (even if it was just a little bit of rain) and that I could sit in my car listening to Elliott Smith bundled up in a blanket, watching the icicles hit the windshield. I wish the temperature would drop at least half of what it is now so I could sit in Starbucks comfortably, sipping coffee, reading, writing, drawing, or pretending to read, write, or draw when I’m actually just observing everyone around me. Maybe sketching their faces in my sketchbook until they notice.

I wish it was colder so I could put my tons and tons of thrifted clothes to use, so I could wear leggings and scarves and oversized sweaters and knit hats. I wish the weather was frigid so I could oversleep in my cozy bed snugly, and so I could sip hot chocolate next to my fireplace and watch quirky movies with my family. So I’d have an excuse to light candles all the time, and to take hot baths.

If it were fall, or winter, I could hold hands with the boy I like without having to worry about my palms sweating. And we could go to the bookstore or café after a long day at school, and talk about my college classes and how difficult they are (or maybe, how easy they are). And then I’d listen to him as he complains about his schoolday briefly, and laugh at all of the funny things he says while I try to do my homework, and get distracted, and just be with him for a while.

I know I can do all of these things at any time. But for me, everything is easier and more comfortable in the cold. Everything is a little more pleasant in the cold..